Here's a song I'm working on:
I wrote the song, and all tracks are performed by myself. It's incomplete at the moment. Any feedback, good or bad, is requested. Just want to see if this thing sparks any interest.
About the song:
I have been writing a bunch of songs over the past couple of years, but this one I keep coming back to. I had never finished it in the past because I wasn't totally satisfied with the overall "sound". However, I recently got a StudioLive 24 Series III mixer with Studio One, along with a brand new computer that can handle more processing and memory. I decided it was time to return to this one and see what I could do with it. I dumped all the tracks off my MOXF6, redid the mix entirely, added several new layers, recorded much better vocal tracks than the last time I attempted a demo of this, and I feel it's really coming together. It's sort of a pop/r&b tune with some synthwave influence. There's more tweaking to do to it yet, and I still haven't written a second verse or bridge part I am satisfied with (and thus, haven't recorded). But it's coming along!
It's coming along really well damiangrove. Sweet melody! The chorus is also very complimentary!
Nice job singing as well.
It has the ingredients of a good pop tune. I was just thinking towards the refinement aspects, two things. First would be to vary the clap in a subtle way, both EQ, so that it doesn't always sound the same. Also lose the clap, at 1:46 to 1:55, where a more subtle snare hit, rim shot, or mix of some combination would break that part up nicely. Right now, there's the same clap and it's kind of revealing.
Second is, the song begs for some nice bass counter melody. Just be subtle (but with punch), and have it either play along with, or counter that sweet groove. Just have the bass enter in after 2 or 4 bars at the start of each verse. That could be nice.
You'd have a hit on your hands, me thinks.
At 3:00, I'm hearing a guitar melody, similar to the vocal line. That would finish out the end, which sounds like it needs to be completed.
A vocal return to the verse or some "oooh's and "aaah's"(1:55 - 2:25) would balance the piece (if you were looking for that). Just an observation is all.
Bottom line, I can see why you keep coming back to this song. Now just close it out.
My latest release from: Studio One
My last prior release from: Studio One
Latest Album: Amber & Blue
Very nice melody and chorus, thumbs up. I think lokefly made some good suggestions - anyway, nice songwriting....
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