Just looking for feedback. I think I'll need to redo the vocals but wanted to know if anything else needed correcting. Thanks in advance.
phpBB [audio] someone else’s blood they put him on a cross he died an ugly death they decided later on that he died for us but this I want to know seems an awful precedent why taking someone else’s blood brings us closer to our god out in the desert land an army sent by god and to fight them a young man who will die for his al-lah and this I want to know fore the stain gets on my hands how taking someone else’s blood brings us closer to our god back in ancient times upon an altar made of stone the sacrifice was slain the gods given what was owed but this I want to know how far have we come when it still takes someone else’s blood to bring us closer to god’s love |
There are some nice aspects of the music (the arp).
I'd agree... you should redo the vox. Try varying them more so the melody isn't so repetitive. And be sure to use Melodyne... you don't have to make them perfect, just buff them a bit.
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I do agree about the vocals, but overall, this kinda reminds of some older David Bowie.
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Very nice Brent! Stirring feel, and excellent lyrics. The vocals break up naturally, and you captured that well. Like kneeling on a stone floor, clothes partly shredded/soiled, like a witness telling others of the incident (is what I'm envisioning, anyway).
Nice vocals. It's sets a mood. I'll always give props for what each songwriter gives in their delivery, and not someone elses own idea of what that should or shouldn't be. It's a very honest and creative song. There's some nice visualization going on that it brings. That my friend is a good thing. Loved the instrumentation. Don't change much, if anything at all. It's pretty potent. James
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Thanks for the replies James and Gregg.
I'll probably redo the vocals. There's a couple of timing errors that I hear every time I listen and I was a bit uptight when I recorded them. I have an initial scratch vocal that was more relaxed I tried to replicate but couldn't get. The vocal doesn't seem to quite settle into the music as they are now. I'm not a fan of Melodyne as a corrective tool. As a creative tool, yes, but not to doctor vocals. So I won't be using that. I got the idea for the song skimming through Karen Armstrong's book A History of God. |
Cool! Definitely don't lose the Bowie vibe though.
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